Precious

Nadia is my girl. She is so much like me. This makes her special and drives me crazy all at once. So many of the strange, confusing or frustrating things she does I vividly remember doing myself as a child. She is very very three and has quite the jumble of big emotions to go along with it. ( I am twenty eight and do too.) Along side those big, raw emotions is a tender heart that loves passionately. Sometimes she makes me melt.

The other day as we were driving to Costco I hear her little voice from the backseat. "What sweetie?", I reply, turning down the radio. "I want to talk about Grammy." she repeats a little louder. This isn't the first time she's wanted to do that along that road. It's where we were when we got the call that Grammy had died. "What did you want to say about Grammy?" I asked, knowing what was ahead. It's a conversation I love and hate. I love to share with Nadia the joy and truth that Grammy is released from all pain and is now praising Jesus in Heaven because He was her Savior. I tell her that Grammy gets to see her husband now, he's in Heaven too. "And Grammy gets to dance now too Mommy." she adds. That's her favorite part. It's also about the time I can't hold back the tears anymore. It's the part I hate because I miss her. I wanted my girls to know her more and I wanted to know her more. "Mommy, why are you crying?", she sweetly asks. I try to explain it but I'm sure my mix-up of words doesn't make sense. "I want to make something special for Grammy." Ugh. How do I say this? "Well, we don't have a way to give it to her honey. She's in Heaven." "Mom, we just need to put it in the mail." "Maybe we could right her a letter Nadia. We'll just put it in the mail."



And so we did.